


And a Russian Man on Skates

by inmylife



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everyone Is Gay, Group chat, Internet Friends AU, Trans Yuri Plisetsky, actually everyone has no chill, jj is an asshole but what else is new, or almost everyone, phichit and emil are the europals to end all europals, seung-gil has no chill, the eurovision song contest, they all have tumblr, this is honestly a mess i'm so sorry, well it shows up later it's not relevant Right Away but might as well tag it now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-03 17:29:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8722606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inmylife/pseuds/inmylife
Summary: "Someday we're all gonna meet up and buy a house in, in idk brazil or something and all live together and talk about skating together and be gay together and everyone can be happy."
Everyone's favorite figure skaters are now normal people, and they're in the skating fandom instead of skating themselves. 
Well so basically they're all internet friends in the figure skating fandom and also other things come up like eurovision (because it's My Thing) and various country rivalries and such. A series of unrelated little chat logs. 
I'm not very good at being funny i'm better at writing angst honestly so this is going to be such a mess i'm sorry!!! 
Title is from Love Love Peace Peace.





	1. jesus christophe go to church

Queen Yuuko: SOOOOOOO I met this guy on the Japanese forum  
Takakaka: r u cheating on me already we got engaged LAST WEEK  
Minami: i forgot to congratulte you!! yay marriage!  
S-G: *congratulate  
Queen Yuuko: NO smh he's almost definitely gay  
Queen Yuuko: takeshi this is the user that is always screaming about that one russian skater??  
Minami: f*ck off  
VikNik: by Russian skater do you mean me?  
Sala sala: cmon minami say fuck like a man  
Queen Yuuko: no, screw you. He probably would fanboy over you though i mean have you seen yourself skate  
Takakaka: thx for that rlly vague description babe  
Queen Yuuko: No takeshi this is pork cutlet bowl guy  
Takakaka: OOOOHHHHHHHHH HIM  
Minami: nO I AM NOT A MAN  
Minami: I AM FIFTEEN  
Meeeee-lah: ur a baby  
Minami: smh  
Takakaka: why do you bring him up though?  
Queen Yuuko: idk we're the only people he's friends with in the whole forum he needs friends and you people are cool i guess  
VikNik: you GUESS?  
Takakaka: u guess  
Takakaka: u say this to your… fuck whats the english word… the guy you're engaged to  
Takakaka: LEO HELP  
Takakaka: @Hispanic Meme WHATS THE WORD FOR IM GONNA MARRY YUUKO  
VikNik: So you want to add this kid?  
Queen Yuuko: Yes his name is Yuuri he's a sweetheart  
Meeeee-lah: You know that Yuri will flip shit if we have another Yuri  
Queen Yuuko: it's with two u, Yuri can chill  
S-G: Leo's not online. He has a family thing, I think.  
Meeeee-lah: ...I don't think Yuri knows how to chill  
Queen Yuuko: So can I add him? Or do whatever it is to get him in the chat?  
S-G: I see no problem with it.  
Gong Honk: Sure!!!!  
Takakaka: do i have to vote i already know this kid  
Sala sala: should we wait for leo  
Sala sala: and emil  
Sala sala: and my brother  
Sala sala: oh i vote yes btw  
VikNik: Sure. New people are cool to have.  
Meeeee-lah: they don't get a vote bc they were too busy being… busy to be online  
Meeeee-lah: that means yuri too, of course  
VikNik: he'd say no anyway and you know it  
Queen Yuuko: true. Alright i'm adding him everyone play nice  
Chris: do I get a vote  
Queen Yuuko: no  
Queen Yuuko: and you're not allowed to hit on him  
Chris: ,,,,vas te faire encule  
Queen Yuuko: Takashi does that, no thanks  
Minami: YIKESYIKESYIKES i am a C H I L D  
_Queen Yuuko added Yuuri!!! to the chat._  
Queen Yuuko: Ok so Yuuri, meet everyone. Or almost everyone. Guys, this is Yuuri. Play nice.  
S-G: Hi, Yuuri. I'm Seung-Gil and I'm from Korea.  
Queen Yuuko: oh good idea seung-gil! Yes yes everyone say their names and where they're from. I'll start. I'm Yuuko and I'm from Japan!  
Yuuri!!!: i'm yuuri and i'm also from japan. Hi?  
Takakaka: well u alreayd know me but hi i'm takeshi i am from japan and also im almost-married to yuuko  
Minami: hi i'm minami and i'm also from japan there's so many of us omg  
S-G: *already  
Meeeee-lah: he's also basically a baby he's the second youngest person in here also i'm mila i'm from russia  
Takakaka: fuck u  
S-G: Isn't Yuuko already doing that?  
Gong Honk: THE SASS  
Gong Honk: I'm guang-hong and i'm from china. Yo  
Chris: you know americans dont say yo anymore right  
Chris: leo's fucking with you  
Chris: he's also fucking you but that's irrelevant  
Sala sala: christophe sta 'zitto smh you'll scare him. I'm sala (or sara because some people can NEVER GET IT RIGHT cough cough JJ) and i'm from italy and my brother michele isn't online right now but he's also from italy obviously  
Sala sala: christophe is from switzerland and he speaks like four languages which is kinda cool  
Queen Yuuko: … welcome to the chat  
Gong Honk: jesus christophe go to church  
Gong Honk: also how would that even work he lives on another continent  
Yuuri!!!: do any of you have tumblr?  
Queen Yuuko: thats how most of us met, youre a special snowflake  
Queen Yuuko: mine is axellutzandloop, if i didnt tell you before  
Sala sala: my tumblr is salageronimo, and my brother runs random--italyfacts  
VikNik: mine is pyatyy-gran-pri. I'm viktor. I'm from russia. most of us are from russia or japan.  
Gong Honk: mine is learnthehanzi because CHINAAAAA  
S-G: Not everyone is online. I'll DM you the usernames if you like.  
Yuuri!!!: oh could you? i don't want to forget anyone  
Yuuri!!!: mine is jsfcertified, if any of you wanted to know.  
VikNik: thanks, Yuuri.  
\--  
Юрий: the fuck you mean "another yuri"  
Yuuri!!!: yes hi that's me  
Юрий: @Meeeee-lah EXPLAIN  
Юрий: Объяснить  
Юрий: NOW  
Hispanic Meme: hey yuuri i'm leo its nice to meet you im from the usa  
Hispanic Meme: @Takakaka the word youre looking for is fiancee  
\--  
Meeeee-lah: what is there to explain your parents just happened to name you the same thing  
Meeeee-lah: actually if anyone has the right to get pissed off it'd be Yuuri because he's older (i think? im p sure youre older than fifteen so like) and the name was his first  
Yuuri!!!: My 24th birthday was last week!  
Meeeee-lah: see he's older than you by nine years  
Meeeee-lah: NINE YEARS. Девять лет.  
Юрий: I still want him out. I was here first.  
Юрий: also what relevant people have ever come from japan anyways  
Takakaka: do u wanna fite  
Takakaka: a ton of figure skaters namely  
Takakaka: also with yuuri here there are more of us from japan than from russia. 日本 日本 bitches  
VikNik: he's right, you know. nihon nihon  
Takakaka: viktor,,, have i ever told u i love u  
VikNik: yes, you say it all the time whenever i post a skating video  
Yuuri!!!: wait you skate? Like, figure skating skate?  
VikNik: i'm not really that good but they all get really excited when i post a video online.  
Takakaka: DONT LISTEN TO HIM HES AMAZING  
Takakaka: LIKE LITERALLY HE SHOULD BE COMPETING  
VikNik: i'm 27 so its a little late for that lol  
VikNik: thank you though  
VikNik: wait isnt it like one in the morning in japan-land go the fuck to sleep  
Yuuri!!!: i am tired!!! but i wanted to meet everyone :(  
Hispanic Meme: don't leave me here alone i'm in class and bored as shit  
Takakaka: its noT MY FAULT U LIVE LIKE THREE CONTINENRD AWAY  
VikNik: go the fuck to sleep  
VikNik: besides me and yuri and mila and um emil and christophe and the italys if theyre on are still here  
VikNik: it's only 19:00 for me  
Hispanic Meme: what is that in american time im srry i dont use metric  
Юрий: it's not metric  
Юрий: fucking americans  
King JJ: it's 7 PM  
Hispanic Meme: thanks you really are a king  
King JJ: glad to hear it  
Yuuri!!!: yes i'm going to sleep too!!!! goodnight everyone it was so nice meeting you!  
VikNik: you too, yuuri  
Юрий: fuck off  
VikNik: oh be nice  
Юрий: but how are we supposed to tell which one is which  
Meeeee-lah: yuuko told me there's this boy band in japan where someone is called Yurio. That's your name now. Yurio.  
Юрий: what the hell no  
Юрий: что ебать мила  
Юрий: НЕТ,,, HET  
VikNik: no honestly i kind of like it  
VikNik: it's cute it fits you  
Юрий: i'm not cute i'm a boy also fuck you  
VikNik: love you too……… yurio  
Юрий: I HATE YOU ALL GOODBYE


	2. guang hong explain yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo finds something Guang-Hong never wanted him to see...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to thank my amazing friends: Tindra, Ileana, Astrid, Ted, and Jana, for letting me bounce ideas for this off them. 
> 
> I...yeah. So this fic is basically going to have a sideplot of Phichit and Emil's europal adventures SORRY NOT SORRY
> 
> Because it isn't immediately obvious, "gabriela was robbed" is Emil. 
> 
> Also something really weird is going on with the end notes? It's stuck on the ones from the first chapter and i can't change them?? So no real end notes until i can figure that out.

Hispanic Meme: YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT I FOUND  
Юрий: religion   
VikNik: fashion sense  
Gong Honk: a boyfriend   
Hispanic Meme: no, fuck you, and no  
Hispanic Meme: I FOUND GUANG-HONG'S FANFICTIONS  
Meeeee-lah: im soRRY WHAT  
Gong Honk: Leo, what are you talking about?  
Hispanic Meme: NO SEE IM RIGHT YOU ALWAYS USE PUNCTUATION WHEN YOURE ABT TO BE EXPOSED  
Юрий: he's right. Cmon guang-hong fess up  
Hispanic Meme: youll never guess what he wrote fanfiction about too  
Meeeee-lah: WHAT OMG TELL ME  
Meeeee-lah: WAS IT HETALIA  
Hispanic Meme: no  
Hispanic Meme: even worse  
Юрий: superwholock  
Hispanic Meme: DINGDINGDING  
Gong Honk: im unstanning you  
Hispanic Meme: love you too bb. but srsly guys get a load of this shit  
Hispanic Meme: "Dean looked into Cassie's eyes. 'Never before have i seen such beauty,' he sighed, stroking her face."  
PHI: VOTE THAILAND IN ASIAVISION AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
Gabriela was ROBBED: no wont fuk u  
PHI: wait. Guang hong did What now  
Gabriela was ROBBED: immsorry. guang hong explain urself  
Hispanic Meme: Not only did guang hong write fanfiction  
Hispanic Meme: he wrote GENDERBENT DESTIEL FANFICTION  
Hispanic Meme: guang hong you're gay what the actual fuck  
Gong Honk: don't drag me like this  
Gong Honk: it was what everyone did ok it was 2012 like were none of you people on tumblr four years ago  
Юрий: so let me get this straight, you wrote this shit when you were thirteen  
Gong Honk: EXACTLY I WAS THIRTEEN I DIDNT KNOW ANY BETTER  
Gong Honk: let's move on. phichit what the fuck is asiavision  
PHI: it's eurovision but asia and just on tumblr, i'm not telling you more until you explain yourself smh  
Hispanic Meme: Phichit will you shut up already about this shit no one wants to hear it we want to hear abt guang-hong's dark past  
Gong Honk: what u mean "dark past" u make it sound like i killed a man  
PHI: maybe u did…  
Gong Honk: also for the record i didn't know i was gay yet or at least i didn't want to  
Hispanic Meme: ok i feel u on that one #growingupcatholic  
PHI: leo that meme is irrelevant  
Hispanic Meme: w.fictionforus.net/user/destielsdestiny/works/  
Hispanic Meme: pls go laugh at him  
Gong Honk: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS  
Meeeee-lah: guang hong what the fuck  
Sala sala: im screaming,, guang hong what the SHIT i was on tumblr in 2012 and i never saw anything that bad    
Gong Honk: i hate all of you


	3. you can probably hear me but i'm literally screaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michele hates Sweden. A lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Yes, I added Otabek! His friendship with Yurio is very important to me. 
> 
> 2\. Asiavision is this thing i've been running (because remember, my main fandom is eurovision) - i just got done queueing it all to Tumblr, it took me over three hours and 41 posts in queue. I am ready to die honestly it was hell and now I'm super tired.

Hispanic Meme: hey so i have a question  
Hispanic Meme: so i was going through mickey's blog and  
Hispanic Meme: why does he hate sweden so much   
Sala sala: OH GOD YOULL UNLEASH THE MONSTER  
Gabriela was ROBBED: anyone with sanity would hate sweden leo why don't you   
Sala sala: *monsters, i forgot about emil and im pretty sure hes dragged phichit into the void too  
Yuuri!!!: oh god is this one of your europe things  
Yuuri!!!: ive been in this chat for a month and already ive heard more abt your stupid music than i ever cared to   
Meeeee-lah: best not to say anything yuuri havent you learned ANYTHING  
Sala sala: all you need to know is that theres a few hot people every year  
Юрий: can i block emil and phichit before they do anything yknow trashy  
PHI: im always trashy yurio ;)  
Юрий: dont call me yurio my name is yuri if i wanted to be called yurio i would be called yurio but im NOT so CHILL  
Yuuri!!!: whoa ok ladies ladies   
Юрий: please dont   
Yuuri!!!: whoa ok boys boys  
Mic-hell: why do i hate sweden you ask  
Sala sala: here we go   
Mic-hell: because theyre ABSURDLY rich and get everything they ask for because theyre stupid and blonde  
Юрий: im blond what the hell  
VikNik: so am i what the hell   
_VikNik changed their chat name to Viktory_  
Viktory: do you like, i stayed up way too late yesterday trying to think of english puns  
Юрий: no its stupid  
Yuuri!!!: i like it   
Gabriela was ROBBED: yeah let's not go hating on blonds now mickster  
Mic-hell: anyways so back to why i hate sweden  
Mic-hell: their educational system is shit apparently they have like a teacher shortage or shit   
Sala sala: wait you actually have a legitimate reason  
Sala sala: mickey you can probably hear me but im literally screaming  
Mic-hell: she is.   
Chris: i can hear it all the way from ticino  
Sala sala: why are you in ticino dont you live in the french part  
Chris: long story   
S-G: *Ticino  
Chris: what did i even do wtf seung gil   
S-G: Ticino is a place. In English, you have to make the first letter a capital.   
Hispanic Meme: seung gil,,, people dont care the only time i pay attention to grammar is when im writing papers and sometimes not even then  
Yuuri!!!: leo what even are you studying anyway  
Viktory: isnt it night time in english speaking place go to bed   
Mic-hell: leo's life isnt important back to why i hate sweden  
King JJ: thats rude even for me   
King JJ: and yes viktor its like four AM which means its midnight for leo  
Mic-hell: SWEDEN IS ALSO REALLY FULL OF THEMSELVES   
Mic-hell: i want to fite them  
S-G: *fight  
Mic-hell: that was intentional  
Gong Honk: he doesnt care michele and you know it   
Chris: so you're just going to fight all of sweden  
Chris: all nine and a half million people who live in sweden  
PHI: i'll help sweden needs to find its chili  
PHI: ******CHILL oh my gosh   
Meeeee-lah: mickey needs to find his chili  
Yuuri!!!: this is gonna be a chat meme now isnt it   
Minami: ohh i've always wanted one of those!!!!!  
Minami: also i want a pun, viktor has a pun why cant i have a pun  
Mic-hell: also the random--swedenfacts admin is a jerk   
Sala sala: annie is perfectly nice what did she ever do to you  
Sala sala: We've discussed this before   
_Юрий added Otabek to the chat._   
Viktory: yurio whos this  
Юрий: hes my friend also dont call me yurio   
Mic-hell: SHE TRIED TO FLIRT WITH YOU   
Sala sala: excuse me   
Sala sala: we are f r i e n d s im allowed to have friends   
Юрий: anyways this is Otabek and he is from Kazakhstan   
Otabek: yeah i live in almaty   
PHI: KAZAKHSHDYTN   
PHI: NEW PERSON DO YUOU KNOW   
PHI: D O YOU KNOW THE KITCHEN SONGS  
Otabek: what?   
S-G: *Kazakhstan   
Mic-hell: CAN U LET ME COMPLAIN ABT SWEDEN IN PEACE  
Юрий: I ADDED OTABEK SO YOUD SHUTTUP ABOUT SWEDEN  
S-G: shut up   
Юрий: whatever  
S-G: No, I was telling you to shut up. I would also like Michele to shut up, but he's older than me so I can't tell him what to do.  
Viktory: as the oldest i can tell michele to shut up   
Viktory: michele shut up   
PHI: the kitchen songs   
PHI: it's a singer?   
Otabek: i don't listen to kazakh music really   
PHI: WHY  
Hispanic Meme: wait.   
Hispanic Meme: guys.   
Hispanic Meme: i think we're all missing something.   
Gong Honk: what now?   
Hispanic Meme: yurio made a FRIEND.   
Hispanic Meme: he referred to otabek as his FRIEND.   
Viktory: MY CHILD MADE A FRIEND YURIO IM SO PROUD OF YOU   
Otabek: they call you yurio? that's dumb   
Юрий: FINALLY SOMEONE AGREES  
Юрий: this is why he's my friend and not you people  
Yuuri!!!: it's to differentiate him from me, because aparently my name having two u and him having just one isnt enough   
S-G: *apparently  
Gong Honk: goddamnit seung gil  
Mic-hell: i leave for two minutes and people have stopped talking about sweden  
Meeeee-lah: you were the only one talking about Sweden  
Mic-hell: I HATE SWEDEN  
Otabek: so i see  
Viktory: i know  
Yuuri!!!: i've noticed  
Hispanic Meme: we know we get it enough already   
Sala sala: michele i think youve made your point  
Юрий: Michele… find your chili  
Minami: did yurio just meme??????


	4. i really just want to hear about your dog ok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuko has some news, but it's ignored in favor of making fun of Viktor and western Europe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thanks to the peppapönk on mulled spice bleach squad for letting me bounce ideas off of you (and to everyone who gave kudos and comments!!! ily ALL) 
> 
> this is my way of slowly phasing the nishigoris out of the story just so y'all know. also there will be a scene where yuuri goes to the wedding.

Queen Yuuko: so… guys….   
Yuuri!!!: YUUKO YOURE ONLINE YAY   
Otabek: hello, person who i have not met   
SG: Otabek, that's Yuuko. She's friends with Yuuri, for the most part, but she was one of the first people in this chat group.   
Queen Yuuko: so you know how I havent been online lately?  
Meeeee-lah: yeah, what's up? Everything alright?   
Queen Yuuko: uh  
Viktory: ???   
Queen Yuuko: i'm pregnant  
Minami: congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Meeeee-lah: wait arent you two not married yet  
Queen Yuuko: basically we're speed-wedding planning so that my parents and his parents dont lose their shit  
Queen Yuuko: we found out last week  
Queen Yuuko: hey yuuri do you wanna come to the wedding  
Yuuri!!!: what  
Queen Yuuko: i'm serious! you're an adult right we live in generally the same part of japan honestly i'm surprised we haven't already met up yet  
Gong Honk: wow yuuko that is News  
Gong Honk: the day two of us meet for real life is the day i die of excitement   
Yuuri!!!: i mean sure??? if you want ??????   
Gong Honk: YES YUURI PLEASE GO AND THEN YOU CAN SPAM US WITH PICTURES AND TALK ABOUT IF YUUKO IS AS AWESOME IN REAL LIFE AS SHE IS ONLINE   
Viktory: where's everyone else? I would think leo would be all over this  
PHI: good morning everyone thailand was robbed  
PHI: yuuko oh my gosdh  
S-G: *gosh   
PHI: i hate you   
PHI: its like. sleep time in the american and europe world   
PHI: why are viktor and mila awake srsly guys isnt it like five in the morning   
Meeeee-lah: its w/e, you guys are more important than sleep  
Gong Honk: awwwww  
Meeeee-lah: ily all   
Viktory: i have early practice lmao i'm on the train  
Queen Yuuko: don't you not skate competitively anymore  
Viktory: yeah but there's all these teenage idiots using the ice when i normally go, if i want any privacy i have to go early  
Yuuri!!!: since when do you care about privacy  
Yuuri!!!: you sent me your underwear pictures  
Viktory: BY ACCIDENT  
Meeeee-lah: story. now   
Юрий: first of all how did you ACCIDENTALLY send shit like that explain this to me   
Viktory: you all are talking about it like i sent nudes these are Not Nudes  
Юрий: question still stands  
Viktory: ahh well ok long story short it involved makkachin my ex-boyfriend and a Lot of alcohol  
Meeeee-lah: how does your DOG play into this   
Gong Honk: yeah we want the long story  
S-G: I'm kind of ashamed to say this, but I'm curious as well.  
Gong Honk: cmon viktor even seung gil is on board now you HAVE to tell us   
Viktory: yurio when did you wake up   
Юрий: just now, my cat put her claws in my abdomen and it hurt enough to wake me up  
Юрий: but i hate you now because the first thing i thought this morning was "how did viktor send nudes by accident"  
Viktory: THEYRE NOT NUDES  
Meeeee-lah: Viktor just tell the goddamn story   
Yuuri!!!: if he won't i will  
Viktory: fiNE FINE OKAY   
Viktory: so basically i was really drunk and ex-boyfriend was really drunk and we were texting or whatever and he was like "i miss you" so i took picture of me without a shirt on bc well… he was always turned on by my skater muscles okay   
Yuuri!!!: your skater muscles were the only good thing about that experience i mean honestly i was freaked out but   
PHI: IM SPRRY WHAT  
S-G: Yuuri, care to explain?   
S-G: Also, *sorry   
Yuuri!!!: ...im gay dont drag me like this   
Viktory: so anyway yuuri was just above ex-boyfriend in my messaging log and i clicked on his user by accident   
Otabek: yes but how does your dog come in to all this   
Meeeee-lah: yeah as interesting as it is that yuuri is turned on by you i really just want to hear about your dog ok   
Viktory: well makkachin was in the pictures  
Yuuri!!!: the dog was sorta… draped over his crotch in about half the pictures  
PHI: im sorry you did what to your dog   
Viktory: iw as drunk leave me alone  
S-G: *was drunk   
Viktory: seung gil i dont have time for this   
Gabriela was ROBBED: jesus in hell you people i hate you why do i have to wake up to this  
Gabriela was ROBBED: also congratulations yuuko  
Queen Yuuko: thx emil. I wish i didnt have to read that either tbh.   
PHI: wait viktor i never asked but   
PHI: whats it like being out in russia   
PHI: because russia is   
PHI: yknow  
PHI: russia   
Viktory: i mean we're both in our mid twenties and live alone and tbh russia isn't like other places we're a lot more private than like the west so like people dont really ask me about my personal life you feel   
PHI: "the west" dont you live in petersburg thats still west  
Viktory: to you maybe i meant western europe and like leo and jj world   
PHI: hey emil you're the most western of everyone awake right now how does that make you feel  
Gabriela was ROBBED: like mickey if he ever went to sweden   
Юрий: honestly? relatable   
Meeeee-lah: yurio do you ever chill   
Otabek: no, haven't you people figured this out by now?   
Meeeee-lah: ok but true though   
Viktory: aight i'm finally at the rink gotta zoom   
Gabriela was ROBBED: don't let mickey hear you say that


	5. we're always gay and never asleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I shamelessly steal some of the best europal memes, including "alcohok", "BASRK BASRK", and "did you add the televote". 
> 
> Otherwise known as, I am trying to deal with episode 11.

Son of the pope: hey guys what's happened in the past six months  
Meeeee-lah: GEORGIIIIII YOURE ONLINE   
Viktory: does this mean you're over anya   
Son of the pope: no but i went on a date thats something right????  
S-G: To answer your question, we added two new people - Yuuri and Otabek - and Yuuko is pregnant with Takeshi's baby.   
Son of the pope: wooooooooow so i missed some stuff huh   
Viktory: yes it's something i am Proud Of You  
Юрий: oh sup  
Otabek: i'm one of the new people, who is this  
Son of the pope: hi im georgi i am yet another russian except im like fake russian because i live in kaliningrad but whatever  
Yuuri: what's kaliningrad  
PHI: that's what i said too. hi georgi!   
Viktory: its the part of russia that isnt connected to the rest of russia. also phichit you said "the fuck is a kaliningrad" but thats not the same thing.   
Юрий: kaliningrad is just a city in the exclave its not what the whole thing is called  
Meeeee-lah: look at yurio with his fancy english words  
Юрий: … fuck off   
Chris: where is russia are the rest of you then?? doesnt most of russia live in this one really tiny area  
Viktory: i live in st petersburg and yurio lives in moscow idk where mila lives  
Meeeee-lah: i prefer not to say tbh just a privacy thing but i do live in the west of russia   
Otabek: you probably live in novosibirsk   
Meeeee-lah: OH MY GOD NO HET NO NEVER   
Meeeee-lah: ITS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE  
Viktory: it's russia's third largest city mila wyd   
Chris: russia is fuckn big man   
Chris: (like my dick)  
Son of the pope: see now that i didnt miss   
Юрий: why am i friends with you people  
Viktory: find your chili chris  
PHI: no its MY meme u CANT   
Sala sala: just because it's your typo doesnt mean the rest of us cant meme off it dudebro   
Mic-hell: did you seriously just say dudebro   
King JJ: uh srr to ibtihr you al; but   
S-G: JJ, are you ok?   
King JJ: drubk  
King JJ: drunk  
King JJ: that   
King JJ: also nah but itds all ok   
Otabek: what's wrong  
King JJ: ts four am and i m scard?? feel all shaky and stomach is no   
King JJ: stredss out tbh wiht band and all   
Otabek: band??   
Юрий: he's in a band yes he sings or smth  
King JJ: SO IM DROWNINF MY SORROWS IN ALCOHOK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Yuuri!!!: what  
Viktory: he's drunk  
King JJ: THERE IS DOG   
King JJ: BASRK BASRK   
Yuuri!!!: im confused???? first he was all scared and now he's talking about dogs   
King JJ: nop eim still scared there s just dog now   
King JJ: and girlfriend ishere   
Юрий: i thought king jj didnt get scared  
King JJ: mmmmmmmmoh stressed too much to Do also how do i proposed  
Yuuri!!!: this would be a good time for takeshi to show up right   
Minami: no jj do nOT PROPOSE WHILE YOURE DRUNK  
Юрий: i mean you have a lot of bad ideas but as far as bad ideas go that's one of your worst  
Minami: oh yikes  
Юрий: tbh i hate you and bc youre drunk now is a good time to say it   
Minami: please don't do this right now you two please please  
Viktory: yurio i can and will remove you from the chat if i have to   
Юрий: dont call me yurio for fuck's sake  
PHI: LANGUAGE youre a BABY   
Юрий: im fifteen stfu   
Yuuri!!!: oh my god yurio please dont get into it with everyone   
King JJ: THE DOG IS STILL HERE BARK BARK HI DOG   
Viktory: honestly? relatable  
Yuuri!!!: me whenever you send pictures of your dog (except for that one time)   
PHI: BROOOO I LOVE MAKKACHIN   
Son of the pope: yah but jj u r distracting from the fact that im here  
King JJ: oh i thought you died lol   
Юрий: my name is not fucking yurio. how many times do i have to fucking say. if i wanted to be called yurio it would be my chat name god fucking dammit also it sounds like a girls name it sounds like yulia   
PHI: ah  
Viktory: we're not calling you a girl we're just differentiating you from yuuri  
Yuuri!!!: yeah it's a guy's name in japan like someone in a boyband my sister likes   
Hispanic Meme: hi georgi my dude yurio calm down jj dont propose to your girlfriend at four in the morning while you're drunk   
PHI: ah leo you fix everything  
Chris: MY CAT IS HERE EVERONE SAY HI TO MY CAT  
S-G: *everyone   
Chris: seung gil i'm gonna fucking kill you   
PHI: hi chris's cat   
PHI: everyone say hi to my hamsters!!!!!   
Chris: my cat is more important than your gotverdammte hamsters   
Yuuri!!!: tf is a gottverwhatever  
Chris: its german it means goddamned   
Yuuri!!!: oh thats right language man  
Viktory: did JJ go offline?   
Юрий: yes and good riddance  
Chris: yurio be fucking nice  
Hispanic Meme: hope he doesn't do anything stupid  
Gong Honk: good morning  
S-G: Did you just wake up? It's six in the evening.   
Gong Honk: ...yes   
Hispanic Meme: guang hong what the fuck   
Gong Honk: its midnight in america world go to bed   
Hispanic Meme: you cant tell me what to do this is a DEMOCRACY   
PHI: yah but did you add the televote  
Chris: but what did the popular vote say   
Hispanic Meme: the fuck is a televote also too soon chris  
Chris: touche   
Son of the pope: ok this chat hasn't changed one bit so i see  
Gong Honk: true   
Gong Honk: we're always gay and never asleep  
Son of the pope: i'm straight  
Gong Honk: yeah but thats just you


	6. excuse me do i look european to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trans Yurio. Also, katsudon makes its first appearance. 
> 
>  
> 
> This is less funny and more angst than normal but i'm all for the trans yurio headcanon okay and also if i screw stuff up in that area please tell me

Sala sala: hey does anyone want to try and video chat right now?   
Meeeee-lah: sure last time was fun  
Mic-hell: sala im coming into your room we don't need to use two phones when we're in the same house  
Viktory: the americans and asians aren't online they'll be all pissy abt it too  
Chris: as long as no one starts arguing in a language i don't understand it's all fine   
Chris: viktor and mila this means you   
Otabek: excuse me do i look european to you   
Otabek: i'm down though, i don't think you've done this while i've been in the chat  
Viktory: yikes sorry otabek   
Gabriela was ROBBED: ooooooh yes im coming in   
Viktory: last time everyone showed us their pets it was pretty lit  
Chris: don't say lit you sound like leo   
Meeeee-lah: oh yikes   
Sala sala: except yurio he never comes on for these   
Юрий: how maNY TIMES DO I HAVE TO FUCKING SAY.   
Sala sala: ok fine sorry  
Sala sala: ...yurio   
Юрий: fuck you   
Meeeee-lah: nah it's my turn   
Sala sala: UM MILA   
Meeeee-lah: lmao im kidding jesus fuck   
Chris: but yuriiiiiiiiio we want to see your cat live you send us pictures but i want to see more of the cat i want to hear her meow   
Viktory: chris really  
Chris: i just love cats ok   
Юрий: same. cat isnt here rn though   
Gabriela was ROBBED: we want to see what you look like man   
Mic-hell: he's fifteen if he doesn't want to then he shouldn't have to its like mila not saying where she lives you feel   
Юрий: i think i'll do it this time actually   
Meeeee-lah: wait what   
Юрий: i mean if you guys dont make a big deal over it otherwise no   
Viktory: cool, yurio. we're happy to have you.   
Gabriela was ROBBED: is everyone who's gonna video chat online can i start it   
Юрий: one sec   
Viktory: i love this feature honestly   
Mic-hell: how many times have we done it again?  
Meeeee-lah: like three that i've been in and i know the asians do it sometimes when we're not online   
Otabek: i'm asian and i'm still here   
Meeeee-lah: fine. the east asians then  
Otabek: thanks  
Юрий: ok i'm back we can start   
Chris: wait what just happened  
Gabriela was ROBBED: yurio explain what why'd you leave   
_Юрий has left the chat._  
Viktory: Mila you know what's going on don't you   
Otabek: i understood a number of curse words from both of them and something about a yulia but   
Meeeee-lah: that's all i said basically   
Meeeee-lah: bottom line is i know him irl   
Chris: who's yulia   
Otabek: i think we'll find out   
Meeeee-lah: i'm gonna go deal with this right now probably is not a good time to video call   
Otabek: yeah that's smart, nice to see everyone's faces though   
Sala sala: oh gosh i hope he's okay he seemed so freaked out for the five seconds we saw his face   
Otabek: i've got to go i'll be back later  
Mic-hell: suspicious  
Gabriela was ROBBED: not everything is a conspiracy theory   
Mic-hell: except sweden sweden is always a conspiracy theory  
Gabriela was ROBBED: T R U E i swear they've rigged it every year since anna bergendahl   
Sala sala: ok boys no more eurovision talk   
Sala sala: find your chili   
Chris: ngl i love that meme,   
Sala sala: it's nice having a meme thats Just For Us you feel   
Viktory: exactly   
Chris: hey viktor what were mila and yurio saying exactly   
Viktory: yurio basically cursed a whole lot and left, mila said "what? yu - oh shit"   
Gabriela was ROBBED: heeeyyyyyy i understood that i think   
Gabriela was ROBBED: my russian is shit but like still   
Viktory: if you ever want practice you can ask us you know that right   
Viktory: otabek this goes for you too whenever you next show up   
Sala sala: so do they teach russian like in the schools?   
Gabriela was ROBBED: yeah it's like english class but easier because slavic languages are so similar  
Mic-hell: slavic languages are basically inbred  
Gabriela was ROBBED: youre… inbred   
Viktory: dude don't say that when there's slavs in here wtf  
Sala sala: cmon mickey that was rude  
Mic-hell: ok i'm sorry slavs   
\---  
Meeeee-lah: i'm back   
Sala sala: it's been an hour is everything okay????   
Meeeee-lah: i mean   
Meeeee-lah: maybe?   
Meeeee-lah: more ok than before   
Viktory: i think i have an idea but mila explain  
Otabek: i'm back. mila everything alright?   
Gabriela was ROBBED: yeah what happened   
Gabriela was ROBBED: or is this one of those things where i'm screwing with boundaries and asking about shit i'm not supposed to know   
Meeeee-lah: emil this isn't one of those times  
Meeeee-lah: but what i'm gonna tell you is an open secret ok it stays in this chat and don't tell people on the forums   
Viktory: whatever it is, can we tell the chat people who aren't on right now?   
Meeeee-lah: yeah but it STAYS HERE   
Otabek: just tell them already   
Meeeee-lah: basically, i know yurio irl, i live across the street from him funnily enough, and well   
Meeeee-lah: turns out yurio is a trans boy not a cis one and that's why he's so shy about pictures and the video chat and all that mess   
Meeeee-lah: and i guess he really doesn't want his parents to know, he freaked out because he thought i was gonna tell them   
Viktory: i was right, then. okay.   
Gabriela was ROBBED: it makes sense when you think about it actually how did we not figure this out already   
Otabek: he has no clue either.   
Meeeee-lah: oh and otabek already knew. just so you guys know   
Otabek: we're the only people who know ok this means he trusts us so be nice to him   
Viktory: why didn't you say anything earlier????  
Otabek: because he might not have been ok with mila telling you all   
Sala sala: makes sense, i understand   
Meeeee-lah: okay i'm adding him back now don't be idiots   
_Meeeee-lah added Юрий to the chat._  
Viktory: hey yurio  
Viktory: *yuri   
Юрий: mila told you to be nice to me didnt she   
Otabek: yeah  
Юрий: tbh keep calling me yurio because i know something's wrong if you aren't   
Viktory: i am screenshotting that to show everyone else that you don't hate the nickname that much  
Юрий: nah i still hate it but at this point it's like normal   
Viktory: well still point proven   
Yuuri!!!: hey guys! what did i miss at the party? i only just got out of it smh and there's so many messages  
Viktory: yuuri you might want to read the more recent ones   
Gabriela was ROBBED: oh gosh   
Yuuri!!!: oh wow that is certainly...something   
Yuuri!!!: um   
Юрий: tell us about your stupid party  
Viktory: yes yuuri tell us about the party !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
Yuuri!!!: oh yes okay um so it was really boring it's just a family friend was celebrating the anniversary of her ballet studio opening and she wanted us there so i had to dress up in a suit and serve people katsudon   
Viktory: what's katsudon?   
Yuuri!!!: OMG IT IS THE BEST THING EVER AHHHH  
Yuuri!!!: it's pork and some other stuff in a bowl its amazing it is by far the Best Food Ever   
Юрий: my grandpa's pirozhkis are definitely better than your stupid katsudon any day   
Yuuri!!!: FIGHT ME KATSUDON IS GREAT  
Meeeee-lah: omg the yu(u)ris are gonna mix   
Viktory: "mix"   
Meeeee-lah: LEO SAYS IT SOMETIMES OK   
Viktory: no but what does it even mean  
Meeeee-lah: like to fight or w/e like a physical fight   
Meeeee-lah: what's the english word  
Meeeee-lah: brawl?   
Chris: welcome folks to the battle of the yu(u)ris! whose food will prevail?   
Юрий: MINE   
Yuuri!!!: NO MAN #TEAMKATSUDONFORLIFE


	7. just like phichit to come in, quote a song, and leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emil surprises everyone and Guang Hong gets a little frustrated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, WE HIT 100 KUDOS AAAAAHHHH!!!!! Thanks everyone! And a special thank you to corpus_callosum for your lovely comments <3 
> 
> this chapter is sort of me ranting about eurovision yikes...Festivali is Festivali i Këngës, one of the national selections. 
> 
> if you guys have any ideas for what should be in future chapters just tell me! i'm always open to stuff.

Yuuri!!!: guess where i am!!  
Yuuri!!!: IN THE AIRPORT GOING TO THE NISHIGORI WEDDING   
Viktory: omgomgomg  
Gong Honk: take tons of selfies aaaaaahhh  
Hispanic Meme: weird to think about two of us actually meeting irl  
Hispanic Meme: was weird enough with yurio and mila  
Юрий: what was weird about it, we just found out we already knew each other  
Meeeee-lah: this is kinda different IMO   
Meeeee-lah: bcause with yurio and me we had already known each other we just. didnt know the other was in the chat  
Meeeee-lah: but this is different cause yuuri and the nishigoris havent met before   
Otabek: fair point.   
Yuuri!!!: k im getting on the plane i'll talk to you guys soon!!!!  
Meeeee-lah: oh this is so exciting   
Sala sala: hey i have a question  
Meeeee-lah: what's up?  
Sala sala: what are some   
Sala sala: like.   
Sala sala: really lesbian songs   
Otabek: why do you ask?   
Mic-hell: she's having a sexual awakening i think   
Sala sala: tbh i don't even fucking know  
Hispanic Meme: valerie by amy winehouse   
Hispanic Meme: like how is it not gay   
Sala sala: true, grazie leo   
Hispanic Meme: *gracias  
Sala sala: im italian you fucking,,, american  
Юрий: leo why the fuck are you up so late  
Hispanic Meme: i have homework  
Viktory: are you ever gonna tell us your major  
Viktory: also hi   
Sala sala: ok but moving on does anyone have more sapphic songs????  
Meeeee-lah: sinners by lauren aquilina!!! I love it so much   
Hispanic Meme: mary lambert's entire discography tbh   
Юрий: try All The Things She Said by t.A.T.u.   
PHI: NE VER NE BOISYA!!!!!!!!!!!  
Юрий: shut up   
Sala sala: wow. Thanks yurio.   
Gong Honk: yurio what is ne ver ne boisya  
Юрий: it's a song. it's a eurovision song which is why phichit knows it.   
Gong Honk: just like phichit to come in, quote a song, and leave   
PHI: im still here omg   
Chris: MY CAT IS HERE  
Gong Honk: FLUFFY KITYTY FLOOFY KITTY CAT   
Юрий: cats are cool   
Юрий: they're soft   
Viktory: you like soft things???????????? arent you yurio the russian punk   
Юрий: im a tiger, get it right old man   
Viktory: youre a tiger like in the furry sense or  
Юрий: jesus fuck no  
Viktory: also phichit spelled it wrong  
Viktory: it's ne ver ne boysia and also there's a ne prosi tacked on the end that everyone seems to forget about   
Gong Honk: yeah phichit get it right   
Gong Honk: (like i know what i'm talking about lol)   
PHI: WHERE IS EMIL   
PHI: emil   
PHI: emiiiiiiil  
PHI: eMiL nEkOlA  
Gabriela was ROBBED: what   
PHI: have you seen festivali yet   
Gabriela was ROBBED: YES OMG   
Юрий: take it to dm you two no one else cares   
Hispanic Meme: yeah what even is this???  
Viktory: oh no  
Gabriela was ROBBED: oh no it's ok we won't do what we did to guang hong  
Gonk Honk: im scarred for life  
Gong Honk: my youtube only recced me eurovision for two months   
PHI: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6qSt8Qp9ck   
PHI: this will explain everything   
Hispanic Meme: …   
Hispanic Meme: hey   
Hispanic Meme: hey emil   
Gabriela was ROBBED: yeah?  
Hispanic Meme: want to tell me why the first youtube video it recommended to me after watching that   
Hispanic Meme: was a video of YOU   
Viktory: ?????????   
PHI: emil has a youtube channel yeah   
PHI: did you guys seriously not know   
PHI: he even talks about skating sometimes   
Hispanic Meme: im scrolling through it right now its mostly eurovision  
Gabriela was ROBBED: oh gosh  
Hispanic Meme: "Why I Hate Poland"   
Viktory: why do you hate poland they're perfectly nice   
Meeeee-lah: my mom voted for poland   
Sala sala: you sound like michele with the country hating there  
Viktory: oh you mean the song okay   
Gong Honk: ...guys please don't do this here  
Gong Honk: last may was bad enough   
Gong Honk: and now phichit's on board   
Hispanic Meme: emil are you pewdiepie  
Gabriela was ROBBED: what  
Hispanic Meme: idk you're european and look like him and you have a thing for an italian and you have a youtube  
Gabriela was ROBBED: wait wait wait hold up   
Gabriela was ROBBED: what do you mean i have a thing for an italian   
Hispanic Meme: ;)   
Mic-hell: you come into my house   
Mic-hell: and talk about sweden  
Sala sala: you talk about sweden literally so much will you sta zitto   
Gong Honk: make your own fucking chat for your fucking music i am So Sick of hearing about it can you guys calm your chili for five seconds  
PHI: srry guang hong  
Юрий: i never thought id say this but guang hong im with you   
Юрий: i could literally care so much less  
Meeeee-lah: looks like someone's forgetting about their little crush on sergey lazarev   
Viktory: he's attractive i wont lie  
Юрий: mila you are never coming to my house ever again   
Otabek: jesus christ. i leave for five minutes


	8. brb felsla s its dance4 tiem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri goes to the bachelor party and things happen. Aka, i steal more group chat memes from peppapönk. 
> 
> IM SO SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IVE HAD A TON OF SCHOOLWORK AHHH 
> 
> for the record i don't know how weddings in japan work or if they have parties like this i just based it off what i know happens here in the US

Yuuri!!!: I AM AT YUUKOS  
Queen Yuuko: YUURI IS HERE AAAHAHAHHH  
PHI: omgomgomg  
Takakaka: i KNOW im SO HYPE  
Gong Honk: eeee this is so excitinggggg  
Юрий: if you guys are gonna spam tell me now so i can turn off notifications  
Gong Honk: silly yurio we always spam  
Sala sala: ooooooooh is today the dayyyy???  
Queen Yuuko: nah the actual wedding isn't till tomorrow  
Yuuri!!!: i'm here for the bachelor party!  
Viktory: smh i wish i were there i'm so much fun at parties  
PHI: i'm fun at parties too  
Yuuri!!!: i'm sure that if we put you two together it would be ultimate party  
Юрий: alrighty im muting the chat, @Meeeee-lah tell me if anything i need to read shows up  
Meeeee-lah: da  
Юрий: also uh do you have any  
Юрий: uh  
Meeeee-lah: ??? yura this is what the pm system is for  
Юрий: you know me im too lazy  
Gong Honk: im shook  
Юрий: and why exactly is that  
PHI: it's just so DOMESTIC, right guang hong??  
Gong Honk: ye  
Meeeee-lah: yuri i got your pm do you want ice cream  
Юрий: HELL YES mila the real mvp  
Юрий: spasibo  
Viktory: does this mean you have two friends now  
Viktory: mila and otabek  
Юрий: i… i guess?  
Meeeee-lah: YURA IM AT UR DOOR COME LET ME INNNNNNN  
Юрий: k bye  
Sala sala: how did she get there so fast  
Takakaka: k but back to me though  
Queen Yuuko: *us  
S-G: Yuuko, I think you're stealing my job.  
PHI: seung gil im dyiNG  
S-G: *I'm  
Gabriela was ROBBED: wait so what's happening currently there??? Yuuko tell all  
Queen Yuuko: GLADLY OFC  
Queen Yuuko: okokokok soooooooooo tonight is the bachelor party which means that Takeshi and all of his friends are going out to get drunk  
Queen Yuuko: drunk yuuri is hilarious online i can't wait to find out what it's like irl  
Queen Yuuko: takeshi had better send me videos or im finna divorce  
S-G: I don't think "finna" is a verb, Yuuko…  
Queen Yuuko: TOO EFFING BAD  
Sala sala: wait what do you mean drunk yuuri is hilarious online  
Sala sala: he's never been drunk in here, yuuko whAT HAVE YOU SEEN  
Viktory: are you about to explain why takeshi referred to him as "pork cutlet bowl guy"  
Queen Yuuko: as a matter of fact yes  
Queen Yuuko: alright so i was just on the forum one night  
Queen Yuuko: as you do  
Queen Yuuko: and then he comes online, we'd been talking a little at that point but not yk super much  
Queen Yuuko: and he's obviously piss-drunk you know like he's screwing up his kanji and then slipping into fucking romanji every now and then i think he was on his phone  
Chris: srry to interrupt but the fuck is romanji  
PHI: it's japanese but written in the western europe alphabet  
Queen Yuuko: but ok and he's doing this on the PUBLIC MESSAGE BOARD, not private to me but in the PUBLIC PLACE  
Viktory: ohh yuuri lmao  
Queen Yuuko: and he starts talking coherently, finally, and what's it about??  
Queen Yuuko: KATSUDON  
Queen Yuuko: this dork starts going on and on about how much he loves this food like  
Queen Yuuko: boy  
Queen Yuuko: go tf to sleep  
Yuuri!!!: yuuko i cant believe i turn off my phone and you tell this story  
Queen Yuuko: … it's just funny  
Viktory: it's adorable tbh  
Yuuri!!!: me? Im noT ADORABLE LET ME LIVE  
PHI: yes you are adorable  
Юрий: thx mila for telling me to come back in this shit is PRICELESS  
Gong Honk: ye thanks yuuko this is Good Post  
Yuuri!!!: im ready to d i e  
\--  
Yuuri!!!: guyyysyyyyysyyssssssssad  
Yuuri!!!: IM HAVING FUN WHAT ES THE LAST BRIME THIS HAS HAPPEND  
Queen Yuuko: drunk yuuri has made an appearance everyone come and see  
Юрий: I M HERE FOR THIS  
Yuuri!!!: YURIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Юрий: oh jesus  
Otabek: this is probably going to be very funny.  
Viktory: Yuuko, what time is it in japan right now  
Queen Yuuko: three in the morning  
Hispanic Meme: oh this'll be fun  
Hispanic Meme: i'm metaphorically grabbing popcorn  
Yuuri!!!: yuioooo why do u igniroe me sos  
Юрий: what am i supposed to say to that  
Yuuri!!!: cmon i know uy like me ur jsut scearwd of opl  
Viktory: drunk english is my favorite dialect  
Otabek: relatable  
Meeeee-lah: yuri he says that he knows you like him you're just scared of people  
Hispanic Meme: yas mila. google translate who  
Yuuri!!!: yasssdfssdssss meela wih hte langusses  
Meeeee-lah: nah bih that's phichit's place  
Gabriela was ROBBED: bih, you say  
Meeeee-lah: yes bih i say ?????  
Gabriela was ROBBED: do you happen to be  
Gabriela was ROBBED: a bosnia and herzegovina  
Meeeee-lah: what  
Gabriela was ROBBED: mothered by a time traveling pennsylvanian  
Meeeee-lah: what the shit emil are you drunk too  
Sala sala: im wondering the same thing honestly  
Gabriela was ROBBED: its an inside joke im screenshotting it for phichit he'll have a hell of a laugh when he wakes up  
Yuuri!!!: WER PHOICHIT  
Chris: idk who phoichit is you tell me  
Mic-hell: you know he means where right  
Chris: yeah but ass the resident german speaker its funny af  
Mic-hell: ass  
Sala sala: ass  
Gabriela was ROBBED: ass  
Yuuri!!!: ASS MAN  
Chris: where did you get the man from my dude  
Chris: thats funny af though im changing my chat name  
_Chris changed their chat name to Ass Man_  
Ass Man: hes gonna wake up hungover like "what have i done"  
Yuuri!!!: brb felsla s its dance4 tiem  
Viktory: oh no  
Queen Yuuko: tbh this isnt as wild as the katsudon but im living  
Queen Yuuko: if only for ass man and the bosnia herzewhatever  
Meeeee-lah: herzegovina  
Takakaka: guys  
Takakaka: guys you have to see this  
Queen Yuuko: WHATS GOING ON IM IN MY HOTEL LIKE A GOOD BRIDE  
Takakaka: well  
Takakaka: yuuri is  
Takakaka: um  
Takakaka: pole dancing  
Hispanic Meme: WTF VIDEOS  
Hispanic Meme: NOW  
King JJ: sup friends  
Hispanic Meme: YUURI IS DRUNK AND POLE DANCING THATS WHATS UP  
King JJ: omg what??????????? lmfaooooooooo  
Takakaka: video.mov  
Viktory: … ngl it's pretty hot  
Viktory: takeshi do you have any more  
Meeeee-lah: why do i feel like youre gonna do smth dirty  
Viktory: WHAT NO ITS JUST  
Юрий: hah  
Юрий: this is awesome  
Sala sala: k but you have to promise you wont blackmail him yurio  
Otabek: yuri makes no promises.  
Юрий: thank you otabek finally someone gets it right  
Takakaka: video1.mov  
Takakaka: k he wants me to dance with him now so gotta zoom but i told my best man to take pictures  
Ass Man: okay bye  
Hispanic Meme: what IS gotta zoom anyway ive seen most of y'all use that at some point but like wheres it from  
Mic-hell: gotta zoom you say  
Mic-hell: zoom, you say  
Sala sala: zoom is why mickey hates sweden  
Hispanic Meme: but whats a zoom???  
Meeeee-lah: better not to ask  
Юрий: emil we can see you typing  
Ass Man: take it to PM emil  
Gabriela was ROBBED: no i jsut am currently SCREAMING  
Sala sala: why?  
Gabriela was ROBBED: MONTENEGRO  
Meeeee-lah: do i ask  
Sala sala: prolly not


	9. i mean i painted my bedroom rainbow when i was fourteen and it wasn't even that big of a deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea i think this one is about theatre

Gabriela was ROBBED: NEXT WEEK IS THE FIRST SUPER NF DAY   
Gong Honk: don't you love how there's a separate chat for this and yet emil still manages to bring The Thing in here  
Gabriela was ROBBED: sorry   
Hispanic Meme: k but for a conversation actually relevant to everyone  
Hispanic Meme: percy jackson is getting a musical??? that is most likely better than the movies???  
King JJ: the movies were terrible so not like that's hard lmfao  
Ass Man: jj you stanned pjo??   
King JJ: everyone did, even more so if you were dyslexic because i mean when EVER did i see that in books man   
King JJ: only books I ever liked reading were those ones   
Hispanic Meme: movies were shit though  
King JJ: i just said that   
Yuuri!!!: am i hungover is that what this is   
Sala sala: good morning sir how was your wild night   
Yuuri!!!: what did i do.   
Sala sala: ;)  
Yuuri!!!: sara tell me right now   
Yuuri!!!: did i drunk text   
Sala sala: a little   
Ass Man: you also pole danced  
Ass Man: a lot  
Minami: yikes   
Yuuri!!!: oh god  
Ass Man: they got it on video too   
Ass Man: pretty sure viktor masturbated to it   
Hispanic Meme: 1. Oh my fukcign god yuuri 2. can we talk about pjo now please im hype   
King JJ: leo don't you live in arizona  
Hispanic Meme: new mexico but same thing really, why  
King JJ: how would you see it  
King JJ: it's in new york   
Hispanic Meme: i watch a bootleg, duh  
Hispanic Meme: trust the theatre fandom man you bet they will come through  
King JJ: isn't that illegal?   
Hispanic Meme: have you never done anything illegal jj  
King JJ: ...touche   
Ass Man: as the native french speaker, you spelled it wrong   
King JJ: i can barely spell in my own language without autocorrect do you seriously think i can spell anything in yours   
Ass Man: fair point  
Hispanic Meme: to get back to the point i know emil and phichit have a friend who used to be a theatre blog i bet they could hook me up   
Gabriela was ROBBED: d'you mean erin? leo no she's sixteen and the most rebellious thing she's ever done is watch skam in school on her google drive   
Gabriela was ROBBED: also i don't think she was super into the theatre fandom anyway   
Gabriela was ROBBED: from what i can tell she likes fun home les mis and newsies and that's about it   
Hispanic Meme: i love newsies we'll get along fine  
Hispanic Meme: they sing a song about where i live  
Sala sala: did guang hong go to bed  
Ass Man: i think so?? idk   
Gabriela was ROBBED: speaking of which where's your brother  
Sala sala: he's straightdating  
Ass Man: ???  
Gabriela was ROBBED: eww  
Sala sala: chris it's something me and emil came up with for when mickey goes on dates with girls so people think he's straight   
Sala sala: idk why it's such a thing to him i mean i painted my bedroom rainbow when i was fourteen and it wasn't even that big of a deal   
Gabriela was ROBBED: he won't even admit it to himself how tragic   
King JJ: since i'm dating a girl does that mean i'm straight dating or??  
Sala sala: no because you're bi and more importantly out   
King JJ: oh   
King JJ: you know idk these things   
Sala sala: didn't you say something to yurio the other day like   
King JJ: please don't sala you know it was an accident and i still feel really bad  
Sala sala: do you do that on purpose now  
King JJ: i mistyped it enough that my phone thinks it's a real word don't blame me blame apple  
Sala sala: as an android user, gladly   
Sala sala: fuck you, apple, spell my name the fuck right  
King JJ: but you made it your chat name so you don't really mind that much   
Sala sala: i have to make fun of apple at every opportunity i had to sign an agreement when i got my phone  
Hispanic Meme: wow y'all take this a bit far don't you

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also my new fic in this same verse is posted it's called yurivision and the link is: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9292778/chapters/21061073 
> 
> basically it's these guys but they're rabb.it-ing esc together bc i have to write abt it somehow and i know some people are here just for the yoi


End file.
